Editorial: How I Defeated Excessive Hyperbole (And You Can Too!)

March 3, 2014 heralded the day when, as I noted in my post, World War II (2.0) had started. I stated, “Both sides believe they themselves lead the charge of heavenly angels against Satan himself incarnate, who stands strong leading his army of mini-Lucifer clones.” Apparently, my satanic graphics and general rant against incorrect terminology in armies wasn’t enough. And seeing my anger (my evil anger) once again foaming, we’re engaging in a bit of education. 

My sentiments as I begin this post.

Sitting on my favorite army chat today, an argument erupted. That’s not new. And it wasn’t long until words like “evil” started flying around. That, sadly, is also not new. All across armies today, we have apparently forgotten that we were formed, in the first place, for war. We attempt to justify our actions, which is all fine if you want to play world police, however we go way too far.

As I said in the beginning, in March a conflict (that was short-lived to say the least) erupted between the Nation of Domination and the New Regime Alliance. Covering the war in its early days, I became increasingly frustrated with the declaration of war posts and the way they compartmentalized and categorized armies. Full for the full debunking of that stupidity, see here, but most of it will be revisited later in this post.

The folks over at Small and Medium Army Central, on June 1st of this month, covered the beginning of the Royale Penguins Multi-Logging. While I do appreciate their breaking the story first, and while SMAC’s CEO has full knowledge I’m about to do this, I want to draw your attention to part of that post. Berbatov64, Executive Director of the establishment, states “Will the Royale Penguins regret this satanic act?”

This only fueled my increasing anger over what I’ve been fighting against since that March war. Let’s talk about something called yellow journalism for a second (further reading). One of the best examples of Yellow Journalism from your history class is the sinking of the Battleship Maine, which would lead to the beginning of the Spanish-American War. The war was largely due to exaggeration of the events as Pulitzer and Hearst competed for a better audience. It’s a great example of the media influencing opinion and, well, causing war.

This doesn’t make things any better, however. In modern times, yellow journalism is regarded as unprofessional and unethical, and causes more problems than it’s worth. A more general term for all this is an excessive use of hyperbole.

Hyperbole (/haɪˈpɜrbəliː/ hy-pur-bə-lee Greek: ὑπερβολή hyperbolē, “exaggeration”) is the use of exaggeration as a rhetorical device or figure of speech.

Hyperbole does have a purpose and is something you’re taught in Language Arts Class, however something many seem to forget as they enter the real world is that there is a time and a place, and there’s a way to take it too far. I hope to explain how to liberate yourself from excessive hyperbole and the abuse of words by teaching you the ways armies do it wrong. Let’s talk about the word EVIL. Big, bold, red letters, evil. 

e·vil,ˈēvəl/; adjective

1. profoundly immoral and malevolent.

I would conservatively estimate the word evil has been used about ten thousand times in the army community since its founding, whether that be the kid you’re yelling at on chat, the army you just declared war on, or the comment chain you’re arguing in. In wars, especially conflicts like the White Alliance vs. Black Alliance, we have literally defined armies as having a “good” and an “evil” side. This, while not great, is okay. But it gets to be a problem.

THIS, however, is a problem. 

All taken from prominent army sites and quotes of powerful leaders, this gives a glimpse of just how far this disease has spread. In the past, people have addressed the “cyberbullying” aspect of it, though those people tend to be the exact same ones who call others evil. If this seems harmless to any of you, let’s put things in perspective.

This is terrorism. Any army who fights the Army Republic does not embody this. 

This is brainwashing. The New RPF, for making its troops hate Elmikey, is not evil. 

This is Adolf Hitler. Any army leader, no matter their actions, is not this man. 

A problem stemming from our pathological need to identify those against us as “evil” has to do with the very man above. Probably because we’ve learned more about him than most other men of evil in our education, Adolf Hitler is a poster boy here in armies for people we’re against. See below.

Redd Kool; despite your unwavering dissatisfaction with this site, this comment is your worst. Club Penguin Army Central, again CLUB PENGUIN Army Central, is not literally Hitler. Club Penguin Army Central did not kill some thirty million people.

Rabbit720; the differences between Lord Pain and Adolf Hitler are immense. Hitler brainwashed an entire country, Lord Pain tried to take over some chats, websites, and rolled the occasional blunt. Lord Pain isn’t the most evil man of the last century.

Buritodaily; I regret to inform that Lord Pain and Ioioluk, despite whatever they’ve done to you or armies, are not an Austrian politician who leads the Nazi Party, and you saying “Not to be mean” is about as meaningful as the girl who was “sorry” earlier today for stabbing her friend nineteen times.

Despite Burito’s tendency to name his enemies as Hitler, as far as I know he has not changed the name of the Army Republic to the Hitler Republic. Perhaps we could get him to clarify that in the comments so we can show just how much of a bigot you are, but the Army Republic shut down before embracing any form of Nazism.

Despite the fact that you’re probably another member of the RPF baby boom who’s been subjected to not one but two brainwash sessions, I can’t pity you on this one because you’re actually comparing your former leader to Adolf Hitler. I regret to inform you of this, but Elmikey is not Adolf Hitler. He can sit behind a chat recruiting all he wants, he can curse me out all he wants and he can label anyone he wants as evil — even if he’s part of the problem, so are you.

 Whats Up11; despite thinking not-funny sexist jokes are way too funny and despite commanding an army of trolls that can spam CPA Central’s comments whenever he wants, Waterkid has the upper hand on you by miles right here. Waterkid100 is completely correct when he asks why he is being compared to Adolf Hitler, a mass murderer, because he leads a Club Penguin Army. Waterkid’s sick fascination with Hitler, as well as Shiver’s or any other army leader, does not make them physically Hitler.

To say that Waterkid — or any army leader, any person — is “literally Hitler” or “worse than Hitler” is both an incredible insult to all those who were victims of his evil and a trivialization of the evils that this man committed. There is absolutely no justification, nor has there ever been, nor will there ever be an instance in this community where such as insult is appropriate for use.

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The word EVIL, while it may start out as offhand or joking or not serious, snowballs. Not only is it unnecessary, incorrect, an excessive use of hyperbole and an exaggeration of what the word is meant to mean, it is glorifying yourself as someone who can decide that these acts of war in a Club Penguin community — that your side is somehow on an equal level to the veterans that fought and died for your country to stop these evils acts — acts which, may I remind you, were truly evil, and were not your opponents in a Club Penguin game. Compared to these men and women who served, you’re children and you’re cowards, and we all are. To reference events in this community to real-world issues that have spanned centuries and claimed millions upon millions of lives is base, immature, and disgusting, and a massive f*** you to anyone who does it. 

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