CPA Central Person of the Year 2012

PoY final

Continue reading

Please Remain Patient

CPA Central has not been hacked. We have made an administrative decision to move back to this site for security reasons. Please remain patient, as we expect the offloading process to take up to a week, perhaps more. I promise you that once this is finished, it will optimize your experience here at CPA Central, and finally rid the site of DDOSing and other forms of attacks. Funks, Woton, we need to see all of you immediately.

In addition, while we are working on fixing the site from a hack by Sneezy earlier this year and offloading the 500+ posts from the site, CPAC will be running as usual. The cosmetic issues and post discrepancies will be fixed soon.

Thank you for your patience.



CP Army Central CEOs

Happy Holidays from Club Penguin!

Happy Holidays everyone! Since it is that time of year, what else to do besides create a holiday party on club penguin? This party is Decent in my eyes, I have seen better than this one but it still is a good party. Wanna know why? continue reading and see. Continue reading

Welcome to the New Déjà Vu


The igloo exploded. First came the flash, which shattered the darkness, and then the ear-splitting bang that quickly followed. Next came the shards of broken ice and melted snow, that splattered across the frosted landscape– dotting it with ash. A small vibration then traveled through the ground underneath, upsetting the resting snow on tree branches and igloos alike. A scream was next to disrupt the silence. It pierced the night, shrill and high, and called forth a gunshot that silenced it. The only thing that was screaming now, was the sirens in the distance.

I laughed and reloaded.

Standing up, and brushing the snow off my gear, I shuffled back through the undergrowth into the forest. Trudging slowly through the falling snow, I tried not to think of the lives I had  just ended. Granted, it was the “betterment of society”, but how could flags on coffins and muttering a faux prayer make up for the dead bodies and broken hearts?

I shrugged it off and chuckled. My conscience would have to wait. I started humming a tune, just to keep my mind busy, and continued trekking  through the relentless blizzard. After fifteen minutes of hiking, I managed to make it to the outskirts of the very vacant plaza. There, I removed my snow gear and clothed myself with a  damp, silk tuxedo– which also included a fine fur top hat, and a coal black cane. Scanning the plaza, I took note of the dimmed pet shop  the vibrant stage, and the candle lit pizza parlor. They were draped in snow and decorated in Christmas lights, and rustling with activity  Following prior instruction, I made my way towards the pizza parlor. Taking measured steps; ones not too rushed and not too tedious, I gripped the handle on the parlor’s door and swung it open.

Entering casually and throwing on a complacent smile, I proceeded in examining the contents of the restaurant. The air smelled of pizza mixed with various assorted spices, and was occupied by both the chattering of those dining, and the jazzy Christmas carols being played by a band on stage.

I made my way to the bar, on the right side of the room, and sat next to a gentleman in a suit and tie. He sat, sipping a drink and smoking whilst talking to others. He was wearing a gold watch, and seemed to pay little or no attention to me, cracking jokes and discussing a business of sorts with those around us. I sat and ordered a vodka martini– shaken not stirred, just to mimic 007, and also to denote my participation in dark (black) operations as well.

Finally, after quite some time, the man turned to me.

“J22?” he asked.

“At your service. You?” I replied.


“T87? Never heard of you.”

“Now you have. Anyway, how was your business trip?”

“Quite successful, we had a blast. Especially at the parties and meetings. Too bad all who arrived were delayed by a snowstorm. Other than me, of course.”

“Very well. I was told your next trip will be to the CPAC offices above the local coffee shop. We have a reporter you need to… deal with.”

“Alright. How will I know who he is?”

“Well, he is an Associate Producer, was assigned not too long ago, and often writes philosophy and stories for the paper.” He said, sliding me a newspaper with a name circled on it. I scanned the article, and nodded my head.

He nodded back, and then we both rose and shook hands.

Time for another snowstorm. 


 I entered the coffee shop in a holiday sweater-vest, and some black slacks, sipping hot cocoa. I strolled by the counter, and by the couples whispering and reading, while the cashier was busy brewing coffee. I nodded towards him, and he gave a half-wave back. I then headed for the stairs, and climbed up them, rather briefly. There, I was met with the receptionist desk. Greeting her, I explained to her that I was scheduled for an appointment with the Associate Producer. She checked my fake ID, logged my entering, asked me to wait in the lobby. I made my way, past the mancala boards, and sat on a sofa. There, I reviewed my plan.

  1. Enter CPAC.
  2. Have an appointment with the target.
  3. Speak with him, present my case and ask that he take it.
  4. If not, kill him.
  5. If yes, leave gracefully.
  6. If extermination is needed, do so silently, and use window as escape route.
  7. Remove disguise, make-up, clothing and head to dance club for an alibi, I will be met by a female agent who will… cover me.
  8. Make way into boiler room and from there escape to plaza.
  9. T87 will be met in the pizza parlor once more for further instruction.

After reviewing it a three times, taking a deep breath, and tracing the weapon concealed at my hip, my (fake) name was called and I was led into the CPAC offices. I waltzed right in and sat down on a stool, facing  a desk and chair to which my target sat at.

“Oh, you must be Mr. Burke.” He said to me.

“Yes, yes I am, and you are Mr. Kelly, I presume?”

“That is correct, but please, call me Joee.”

“Alright, ‘Joee’, I’d like to discuss the brewing of a current situation.”

“Ah yes, the assault on the DRACP’s president. We’ve been looking into that as well, it really is an interes-”

“No,” I interrupted, “not that situation. The one concerning this forming ‘Hawkeye’ scandal.”

He looked at me a few moments, as the seriousness of my words took effect. He seemed to be deciding something, but I couldn’t tell what. He exposed a bit of confusion and fear, trying to figure out how I even knew the existence of such a scandal. I took this as a signal to keep speaking.

“My employers do not wish for you to expose this scandal, seeing as it might be detrimental to ourselves and to the community as well. Therefore, we are asking you not write about it.”

“Then may I speak of it?” He replied, curtly.

“Allow me to clarify; you will not speak of it, you will not write about it, you will not explain it or express it or even think about it. If you don’t do so, we will force you to.”

He smirked. That was a change in behavior, contrasted to his former bewilderment. I gripped the gun on my thigh. We locked eyes.

“Mr. Burke, are you threatening me?”

“No, simply making a promise. If you try anything stupid, you will lose your pulse.”

“Not if you lose yours first.” And with that, he ripped a pistol from inside his jacket and started firing at me. He squeezed off four bullets before I fit the floor and retrieved the weapon from my hip. Three of the bullets had missed, however the last planted itself into my shoulder. This was not going according to plan.

I rolled behind my stool and used it as a shield whilst firing back at him. I managed to shoot up his desk pretty well, but as for his actual body, I was missing horribly. The pain in my shoulder was overwhelming. I’d been shot before, but this was different. The bullet had completely shattered my bone, and was still lodged inside it.

He continued to fire until my foot had also taken a bullet, as well as the leg above it. I returned fire, but I was bleeding, and the entire room smelled of gunfire and smoke. I could hear commotion in the halls, some screaming, and a siren in the distance. Fuck. We continued to shoot at each other, his firing overpowering mine. My body was going into shock. I had to get the hell out of there. After around maybe 24 bullets from him, he was out of ammunition. We sat in silence for a few moments.

“I want to get the truth out, Mr. Burke. They have a right to know what you’ve done, and what your entire company does. Yes, we know about them. We have files, we have posts, we have documents all about your company. This may come as a shock to you, but the biggest intelligence agency, or spy agency, or whatever the hell you want to call it, is CPAC itself. You all see us as some writers club, or some neutral third party, but in reality, all we do is take intelligence and expose it for all to see. We assassinate people with our pens, not our guns.

However, that does not mean I can’t use one.”

He then charged me, with a chair and gun in hand. Because of the silence, I assumed he though I was out of ammo, which I wasn’t. This, he learned the hard way.

The End (of Part One?)

I ended it here because I was bored of typing. I may write a second part, but not many people read this, and it is pretty bad, since I made it all up as I went. Oh well, tell me what you think. I may add more clarification just because none of you really know what the hell was going on. Oh well. Comment, please.


Legends Battle – Oagal Vs. Pink Mafias!

Hello Cpac!

Sorry for this extremly long wait of the next episode Legends Battle, but after you see this video i’m pretty sure you all will be left speechless!

Continue reading

Christmas Bells, Those Christmas Bells…

…Rang out from the land. Asking peace of all the world, and good will to man.

Continue reading

Golden Troops – Rapidly Rising

Golden Troops have been on a recent rise these past few days, and its caught my attention that they may very well be regaining their former glory. Continue reading

Philosophy – Promotion Day



Note; I’m Secondary Head at SMAC so I’m not a full time worker here, I’ll make the odd post though.  *Reposted from SMAC*
Here comes another of Adro3’s magnificent philosophy posts. Read on before you explode with excitement…

Continue reading

The return of Club Penguin Armies

Club Penguin armies were once great. There was no DDoSing or defacing or coups (well not as much coups as today) and a lot of armies lived for a long time. However, it disappeared. People DDoS army leaders, new armies dying within a week, sites getting defaced constantly, and the great fall of Club Penguin Armies after summer. In September, there wasn’t much armies to be in the Top 10, even a 15 man army could get around 6th in the Top 10. ACP made a shocking fall along with their coup of Kingfunks. Nachos were in a all down low, as they struggled to get back to their glorious sizes. It was also a period were the Ice Warriors were beginning to grow to power. However, it all stopped. As 2013 draws near, Club Penguin Armies have returned.

Continue reading

Top Ten Armies: 12/23/12 || CPA Central Annual Awards Results

It’s only two days until Christmas… and now, as we’ve all survived the apocalypse, we have a rankings-only Top Ten, as is tradition this week, along with the results of both the viewer and editor-selected awards. Continue reading

What Does "Winning" Truly Mean?

Hello there, CP Army Central. I was inspired by some of the events in the past few weeks to write a post. A philosophy post. You may be saying, “Zak posting philosophy? That’s preposterous!” Well, I sometimes do. But anyway, this post is about one word, and one word only: Winning.

Winning? What does it mean? According to, the word “Winning” means this: “The act of a person or thing that wins.” The word “win” means “To gain the victory; Overcome an adversary”. However, when you take the word further, what does it really mean? The word has been over-saturated over the years, becoming something it was not meant to be. When you hear something about one football team winning a game, an Olympian winning a race, or Charlie Sheen saying he’s “winning”, they are all different meanings. Let’s explore why this affects us, the people in CP Armies.

When you think about it, the people in Club Penguin Warfare change the word “winning” into their own version. What winning means in our warfare means “to take down a foe or to accomplish a goal”. But what does that even mean? You see armies like the Light Troops and the Army of Club Penguin fighting. But why are they fighting? To win. What are they trying to win? Well, it’s simple. In this situation, the Light Troops are fighting to win the end of ACP, while the ACP are fighting to win their survival. But of course, we all know that more and more armies stockpile onto ACP for the same reason. However, when armies lose a war, most leaders react with rage or over-frustration at the fact that they couldn’t accomplish their goal. But why the frustration? You may have accomplished something after all.

After most wars, if the losing faction has fallen or lost stature, they launch into rebuilding. That’s perfectly fine. But some also make it their life’s goal to destroy the faction that brought them down. That’s what is wrong. Why would you get so worked up over an online game? Most of us are (or should be) here for fun and enjoyment, as a past-time. Not as a career. Now, also, this is the only situation where both armies haven’t won.

When you lose a war but you aren’t affected, look at it this way: you survived. If the army you declared war on was bigger than you, you were able to stand up to them and not be brought down like their other opponents. You’ve proved your army’s worth and your worth in the leadership department, and definitely have gotten some publicity. You could easily use this to grow even more, and become a new face in the world of renowned leaders.

Now, say you lose the war, but you grow in the process. Why would you even be angry at all? The war made your army grow. You increased your status in the Top 10 and began building up. You have proven you are a force to be reckoned with. This, in my eyes, is in no way a loss at all. In fact, you are the true winners. Winning is accomplishing something. Though you didn’t quite achieve your goal, you definitely accomplished something good. That’s all that matters.

However, what I struggle to comprehend is what drives people’s lust to win. I’m a very competitive person, I LOVE winning. But as long as I’m a player in the game, I’m happy to be there. Sure, we all have our slip-ups. I’ve had mine as well. But, there are some people who cling to that anger and use it as a motivation to destroy or kill. That’s what is difficult to get. You see people out there who make it their goal to destroy an army, and they don’t stop until they have. They go anywhere they can and take every opportunity they can to destroy them. And they hate anyone with a slight connection to the army. (Not naming names, but you know who I’m talking about) This isn’t winning, it’s simply madness.

When you win, though, think for a minute. Think about what adversary you overcame, what reward you’ve received, and what you accomplished in the process. Who have you affected? Who have you hurt in your way? What have you REALLY won? If any of these questions yield an answer that harms or damages one’s dreams or self-esteem, you are the true loser at hand. There is a saying, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. The same is true with victory. Victory is only what you see it to be. You may have a different meaning of victory than others. But what you see to be victory may be disgraceful, so be careful.

So why did I say all that jibber jabber? Some of you may not even care what this says. Just take this away from the post: A true victory is beneficial to everyone. That’s all I have to say. What do you think the word “Winning” means? Leave your comments below. Until next time.

Auf Wiedersehen,

Zak, CPAC Editor In Chief

Server Reform Proposals

View this post in its original form on The Council website.

The meeting regarding server reform went well, many ideas were contributed, and lots of people showed up. We were even ranked higher than Help on xat’s Popular list. Thank you to everyone who came and contributed. Server reform is never an easy process, though I believe it is crucial to get this done.

Continue reading

Light Troops – Lights out?

As Christmas approaches us, it also brings a lot of “chat recruits” to tracking chats, as there is a mascot for the new Ice party. One army who are famous for taking advantage of tracking season are the Light Troops, who seem to be in a big slump at the minute, maxing a mere 9 at their last event, which was a training session. This is considered a disaster for an army of LT’s caliber.

I don’t know what is worst, the horrible music which plays when you enter the LT website, or the LT’s recent events, either way it’s not looking good for the former number one army, and there have been many calls for infamous LT creator Ioioluk to return. However, it wasn’t to be Ioioluk, Roberto, another LT legend had returned on the 21st December stating the following in LT’s most recent post;

It’s been a long time that I’ve been staying a little down under from CP armies, been busy with a lot of school and I’ve been waiting for break, and I’m sure a lot of you were to.

I’m going to come back for break, hopefully ioio will get his lazy butt off his Ps3 and help make this our best year. If most of you didn’t know, last year’s Christmas Break was LT’s golden age where we first ever circled the Iceberg, Forts, Plaza, Dock, and the Forest. Maxing out numbers of over 50 Light Troops.

Roberto believes that LT’s golden age was hit around this time last year, and believes if his counter-part Ioioluk returns along-side him, then sizes of 50+ can be achieved once more. Though, it is unlikely that Ioioluk will ever make another appearance in LT colors, seeing as he has practically left xat for PS3, according to Jose, a loyal LT troop. Further more, Roberto is known for his recruiting and leadership skills, and is planning to make “bases” on Club Penguin, using Igloos more often than usual.

With the Light Troops being knocked out of the Christmas Chaos earlier this month by the Dark Warriors, they had entered an Alliance with the DW and Army of CP against the Nacho Army. However, the Global Ceasefire bill was signed, therefore ending the conflict. This is perhaps another reason why LT have went into an inactive period, but the reasoning will probably stay with LT Creator, Ioioluk for going inactive without any notice.

The LT just can’t seem to find any consistency whatsoever without their beloved creator, and will perhaps struggle more, unless Roberto steps up his game even more.

My P.O.V

 The fact that Ioioluk left LT for Playstation is pretty much pathetic, and shows how much ambition he has for the army he created. Although in my opinion Ioio will probably return to LT in the future, I can’t see him returning this winter break. However,  I think everyone can almost definitely agree that the sizes Roberto mentioned above won’t be hit either. Roberto is known for leaving LT and going inactive all of a sudden without giving any notice aswell, so it will be interesting seeing how he does this term in his LT leadership.

What do YOU think will happen to LT this winter break?

Army of the Week: Underground Mafias Army

In this edition of Army of the Week, we focus on a recently risen army.  UMA have been on a roll in the past week, and have been showing better sizes at events.  They rose to a higher spot in the top ten and recently beat the Nachos in a Christmas Chaos tournament battle.  Will UMA rise to be a world power army like they did in the past?  Or will they fall once again?

Want to be part of The Network?  Click HERE to join or to find out more information!

Are you interested in joining the Underground Mafias Army?  Click HERE to join them!


UMA was created by Pink Mafias on January 8, 2007.  CompWiz5000 also co-created UMA.  UMA quickly grew very powerful, and were one of the big five armies.  UMA was one of the armies who battled in World War II.  They played a major part in World War III, and fought against ACP after ACP declared war when UMA battled ACP on Mammoth.  UMA teamed up with the Nachos and the CPUNSC.  UMA managed to defeat ACP in many of the battles.  Their greatest victory was the battle of Mammoth where they outnumbered ACP with a ratio of 6:1 in sizes.

However, all wasn’t so good.  A rebellion occurred around the start of WWIII.   Commando717 led the rebellion, and many people left UMA to join the RPF: Rebel Penguin Federation.  UMA also began to suffer from a huge loss in the battle of Breeze.  ACP managed to get Pink Mafias banned forever on Club Penguin, which also weakened them even further.  Eventually, UMA surrendered the war, and made an alliance with ACP.  Later on, UMA was part of the Great Alliance in World War IV.

After Pink Mafias left, UMA still strived as a powerful army.  They had many great leaders, including Trickster, who became a Club Penguin army legend.  In the last few years, UMA has struggled to remain a powerful army.  They recently rose into the top ten, and hope to stay there.

Current Leadership:

UMA is currently led by Coolster114 and Benjarkin. UMA has been rising, so they seem to be leading the army well.  They’ll have to continue to use good leadership in order to keep the army from falling.

Recent Events:

UMA recently had an unscheduled event with sizes of 15+ and great tactics.  Below are some pictures from the event:



More recently, UMA had another unscheduled event, with sizes of 10-15 and a max of 20.  Below are some pictures from the event:


I think that UMA can stay a powerful army, as long as there’s no leadership problems and their troops stay active.  I think soldiers looking for intense battles and hard work mixed with fun would join UMA.

Want to be part of The Network?  Click HERE to join or to find out more information!

Are you interested in joining the Underground Mafias Army?  Click HERE to join them!

How do you think UMA has been doing?  Can they continue their rise?  Can they stay a powerful army?  Or will they fall once again?  Comment with YOUR opinion!

Tomato 8883 CPA Central Reporter

Shadow Troops : Coming Back?

Good day to you all readers.
After many weeks of silence from Shadow Troops, they’ve finally posted something. Yes, indeed, they posted something what I call peculiar. Meaning it took me some time to interpret what Zitrosity meant. To find out more, continue reading.

Continue reading