The Blue Review [2]: Adult Diapers Mailed to Elmikey’s Home

AMURICA, PARENT’S BASEMENT — Allegations rise due to a pack of adult diapers that were mailed to the home of Elmikey, Leader of the Rebel Penguin Federation. Now, we’ve all heard about Elmikey’s “24/7” recruiting claims, but no one’s necessarily thought about exactly what that means. In fact, if Elmikey did recruit 24/7, that would not allow time for any sort of bathroom breaks whatsoever.

Thus, he would need some of these.

So, being the extremely kind souls they are, a member of this community decided to take matters into their own hands. That person, who a source informs me was 50cent of the Nachos, mailed Elmikey a pack of adult diapers to help with the unfortunate side effects of 24/7 recruiting. Elmikey explained the situation on ACP chat.

To get more on this story, I traveled to RPF chat to find Elmikey.

Interview with Elmikey, RPF Leedur

Blue1: So, you said earlier on xat that a package of diapers were sent to your house?

Elm: Yah. I have a picture lul. 

Blue1: May we see?

Elm: I guess I’m fat and have no life since I would leave my autotyper on CP recruiting while I’m away. 

Blue1: Who do you believe sent these?

Elm: Sources say a Nacho mod sent it. 

Blue1: Some are telling CPAC 50cent mailed them. What’s your response to this? 

Elm: Be driven with purpose. Be relentless in your alignment with excellence. Pay no mind to dissimpassioned impotant haters. What is evil? Killing is evil, lying is evil, slanding is evil, gossip is evil, abuse is evil, envy is evil, hatred is evil, to cling to false doctrine is evil; all these things are evil. And what is the root of evil? 

Blue1: What was the reaction of your parents to a package of diapers, addressed to “El Mikey”, arriving at their home? 

Elm: Funny story: she [my mom] was like “why the fuck were we sent this”, and I said “Evil people sent it to me because they’re out to get me.”

Blue1: What do you plan to do with the diapers?

Elm: I’m keeping the package because it was the first hate mail I ever received and I found it hilarious. 

Blue1: Any final comments regarding this? 

Elm: That’s not cool, you can try everything but in the end the Rebel Penguin Federation will always crush the evil. 

Blue1: Thanks for your time. 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

So, what do YOU think? Will Elm end up making *~*good use*~* of the diapers? Who mailed him them, and are there more packages to come? Comment with YOUR opinion!

๖̶̶̶ۣۜмaтт.вℓυєѕσᴄкωa1

CPA Central CEO

Note: Before anyone goes and says that CPAC is being anti-RPF, this is a satirical post. Don’t try it.