Poorly Rated – Time For Change

I looked at the results of the survey and many comments. As you have asked for there will be change coming soon. Being as I am the only satirist in CPAC, the evaluation of myself and the comments following it including the criticism told me that you all deserve some change. And if we can’t get Satire fixed up as a respectable category by this time next month, we will be closing the Satire department. So detailed in this post is going to be a system for change to the Satire system of CPAC.

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CPAC Invasions Review 1/25/14

KLONDIKE, CPAC Headquarters – As the week winds down, the Nacho/RPF war is still being fought in full swing, while the WV/UMA war is beginning to slow down.

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Army of Club Penguin and Ice Warriors Practice Battle

BREEZE, Army of Club Penguin Land – As dinosaurs roam Club Penguin, the two brother allies [Ice Warriors and Army of Club Penguin] have one heck of a practice battle.

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The Invisible Rulebook: Morality in Club Penguin Warfare

Feel free to be offended by any section of this post.

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CPAC Satire 2.0

The viewers of CPAC have demanded new and better satire for their website. I have come to answer your prayers once and for all.

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Results of the CPA Central Viewer Survey

Hello CPAC.

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Introduction: The Quotes Pages

“But if you want to be my buddy I am always there!” – sf1998

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Is The Apocalypse Upon Us?

KLONDIKE, CPA COMMUNITY – For the first time since our creation, an apocalypse might be upon us. Hold on tight, because things are about to get rough.

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Club Penguin User Glitch Causes Account Deletions

Update 2, 10:15 pm EST-  Clubpenguin has since responded to my support email, this email can be found here.

Update 11:00 am EST- Club Penguin has since fix this account bug.  Spike Hike tweeted that everything should be fixed now.  This tweet can be seen here.

Klondike, CPA Central Headquarters – As of 12:46 am EST, Clubpenguin has seemed to have launched a new way to delete inactive accounts, which has targeted all accounts. Continue reading

Elmikey “Ragequits” from RPF || Fires Sir Pj As His Last Act

KLONDIKE, CPAC HQ – At 19:05 GMT – the CPAC Newsdesk received an incoming report about the retirement of Elmikey, RPF Kingpin. This is an unexpected move – it comes off the back of RPFs recent dominance at both CPAC Top 10’s and Tournaments.

This is a developing story, news will be reported – as it comes. All updates are after the Read More. 

CPAC is holding a LIVE discussion of this story HERE at our chat

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Undercover Recruit – How Did YOUR Army Do?

Edit:  If you wish to reblog this on your army’s website, you may.  This may open some eyes for a few armies.

Klondike, CPAC Headquarters – Hello CPAC viewers.  In a two day period, I have gone undercover as a new recruit to “join” all ten major armies.   In my endeavors, I was exposed to some drastic results.  The question I present, how did your army do?  

*Prepare for a post with many pictures.  I am the one with the general Xat name(s) in the pictures below.

**I mean no harm with the things I say in this post, I am only surfacing issues.

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The Problem With Armies #3: The Media

Hello CPAC readers!

Surprise surprise. When I say media, I mean stuff that we as an army community use to strengthen our relations and communicate with each other.  We can share our ideologies and thoughts in a news-ish manner, commenting in the process – mainly in the forms of CPAC, Tinychat & Kik (This may have some bits of satire)


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Editorial: Why We Are the Worst Thing Ever to Happen to Club Penguin

KLONDIKE, CPAC Headquarters — First, we heard rumors of CPNext, which threatened to forever alter the way our community functions. Now, we have seen more than 25 reports of users being banned all across armies in the past 24 hours. It’s fair to say now that this isn’t just a fluke. Club Penguin has a lot of issues, from things like Penguin Storm to penguins going down on each other in igloos, but what’s their real problem?  Continue reading

An Official Statement Regarding the Banning of Club Penguin Users

Update 12:46 am EST:  Clubpenguin has attempted to launch a program to remove inactive accounts.  This program is actually targeting all accounts.  You can read the whole post here.

Hello CPAC.  Continue reading

Spi101 Re-Departs From Dark Warriors Leadership

FROSTY, Dark Warriors Territory – After last week, which began with drama in the Dark Warriors that ultimately resulted in the departure of Freezie66 and Spi101 from the leadership, more drama has forced the recently re-joined leader Spi101 to depart yet again.

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