SATIRE: Top Ten Armies: 08/13/13

Howdy hey, CPAC.

Due to a recent turn of events including CPAC’s attack from several unnamed armies and staff, we have had to redo the Top Ten this week. Since B1 is unable to write it, I will do it in his place. He has also told me to tell you some other things such as:

  • The Blues Brothers are stepping down as heads to join the famous jazz band, The Blues Bros.
  • They have put me, Monsoon, in charge of CPAC to control this chaos.
  • Everything is effective immediately.

Please, read more.

Top Ten

1T. Gyllenhaal Army [NEW!][∞]

1T. Army of CP [+7][99]

3. Monsoon Troops [NEW!][5]

4. Team Blue [NEW!][2]

5. Army of  the Republic [-2][90]

6. Samra Warriors [+9][7]

7. Argonauts Empire [NEW!][0]

8. SMAC of CP [+10][50]

9. Ice Warriors [+0][53.75]

10. Bluesockwa1’s Face [NEW!][-100]

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Close to the Top Ten: 

11. Noachos [-10][500]

Every other army is dead and therefore there are no more armies to list.

1T. Gyllenhaal Army Joining the top ten is an army that might as well be called legendary. They have had solid numbers ever since creation back in 04′. They recently fought with Nachos, and succeeded in taking most (if not all) of their troops. They are a universe power army led by Monsoon and created by Swedish nobility.

Gyllenhaal Army

1T. Army of CP

The+man+legalised+pizza+and+wearing+pants+as+if+he+_0f7d51afcf9bb30a8af55a5260e13f0d

3. Monsoon Troops A mysterious army that is big but unknown, they formed overnight and are a smash hit. Their sizes are nothing below extraordinary. MT had been a concept army for 2 years before finally put into action.

Club_Penguin_Town

4. Team Blue Let’s not write anything and say we did.

5. Army of the Republic Having had no events, AR dropped from their righteous place. Since Vinny and Bur both stepped down, the army has had no success in anything. Their current temporary leaders are Capncook and Tori.

backout14

6. Samra Warriors I literally have nothing to say about this.

7. Argonauts Empire  $\/\/@GĞ3® I

tae1-2

8. SMAC of CP A few weeks ago Pungy thought that a good way to raise SMAC views would be to create an army in honor of it. Well, it sort of worked! Though it didn’t bring much of a difference in views, they made pretty decent sizes. Sadly nobody was smart enough to take pictures of their decent sizes.

9. Ice Warriors  The Ice Warriors take a slight rise this week. As the week began, Iceyfeet1234 returned to the army in a shocking move, hoping to get them back up to their usual Top Five positions following the absence of Albert417. On the 6th, the army held a recruiting session in which they reached sizes of 20-25. Two days later, they reached sizes of 25-30 in another Training Session.

screenshot_34

10. Bluesockwa1’s Face OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH. OOOOOOOOOOOHHOHOHOHOHOH. OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHHOHOH. HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO. HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. HHHHHHHHHHOOOOOO.

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Make sure to stay tuned for CPAC’s review of how YOUR army did this Summer, an in-depth statistical review being released later this August. Any opinions on this week’s Top Ten? Make sure to let us know in the comments. 

MONSOON OUT

7r8vi

we3i

50 Responses

  1. You should be the new top 10 maker.

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  2. bias
    grapists should be first

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  3. The fuq is your problem?

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  4. 10/10 GOTY

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  5. The future of CP armies, if not, the future when Lord Pain takes over, js.

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  6. FUCK I UPVOTED SORRY MONSOON!

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  7. Can you fire B1 and B2 and make the top tens from now on

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  8. TROLL LOOL

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  9. i think the rpf noobs are downvoting because they arent 1st

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  10. Bias. ACP should be… Oh.

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  11. Keep doing this shit it funny

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  12. This is probably what armies will be like in a few years.

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  13. This was hilarious. xD

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  14. Who’s the knob downvoting all the comments

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  15. Woo Team Blue!

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  16. Greetings, CPAC. I have created a DDoS’ing program which I will be using to help RPF. I will be publicly giving it to troops on the RPF chat.

    If you’re an enemy of RPF, you’re screwed. 5k shells loaded into this program–locked and loaded. http://prntscr.com/1l6jet

    ~Fight the good fight

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  17. that wuz da best top ten i hav ever seen

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  18. May I remind you about everytime my sister and I have owned you?

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  19. This is the wrose Top 10 ever.

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  20. PR should always be first, it’s first grade curriculum. Duh. *wary*

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  21. I admire the quality in this post.

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  22. post was not even funny. monsoon is just copying off a mans material that was made months ago. this is a crappy post made so you can let 10 yr olds have a giggle. 0/10 low tier humor

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  23. i guess it was funny when pern did it like 2-3 years ago but this joke has been beaten to death

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  24. cpac why are you deleting our comments, i thought we were allowed to share our opinion?

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  25. So before this post was made, I didn’t know why so many people hated Waterkid… until I found out where all the dislikes were coming from and saw the really polite comments he made on this post.

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  26. almost every comment is heavily disliked

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  27. FREEDOM OF SPEECH

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  28. you call this satire? smh

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  29. Deleting our comments now? CPAC censors!

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    • CPAC doesn’t censor, we’re just tired of the “MONSOON4SUICIDE” spam and other over-the-top bitching on this post.

      Comments have been closed.

      Like

Comments are closed.

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