The Sons of Lord Pain — A New Cult is Formed

TUXEDO – In a fierce engagement involving many of the owners on RPF, Lord Pain has been officially couped out of the RPF for a variety of reasons, centering mainly on his treatment of troops. Immediately after his ousting, he along with a couple of other troops went to create his new organization, the SOLP (Sons of Lord Pain), a somewhat cult like organization revolving around Lord Pain.

As quoted by Lord Pain himself, it intends “to create a brighter future for CP Armies”. A colorful character, Lord Pain has frequently been featured on CPAC, and even has a CPAC post dedicated to understanding the raw characteristics that make who he is, which can be found here. I was able to document what happened on the SOLP chat room and conduct two interviews with a former peer of Lord Pain, and Pain himself.

A coequal of Lord Pain before his oust in the RPF, Justinbronze did not have anything favorable to say about Lord Pain. A longtime veteran of CPA, I was able to interview him about his thoughts on the event.

Interview with Justinbronze, RPF Second in Command

So what exactly did Lord Pain do, and can you summarize it in your viewpoint?

Well from the information I have collected since my recent return to CP Armies, I gather that Pain has run multiple armies into the ground. I also gather that he was power hungry and suppressed free speech.

Wow, quite powerful words. What exactly is he doing right now, which is taking place in the chat SonsofLordPain?

As I entered late, I cannot guarantee what I say is exact, but to the best of my knowledge, Pain was trying to gather up a group of people to take over CP armies and lead them, with himself as the de facto supreme ruler.

Has this been taking place in secrecy, or were you aware of this happening? Seems like this seemed like a joke until now.

As far as I’m aware, it only happened now.

How would you describe Lord Pain as a character?

Power hungry, Egotistical, Someone who lives in a delusional fantasy land. In his mind, he has never failed, It was the stupidity of others that removed him from power. He is your common, everyday, spoiler, power-hungry dictator.

What do you think will become of the SOLP, in the future?

Honestly, I Don’t expect it to last another 3 hours, if that.
SOLP is a latch ditch effort for Pain to regain Power, “save” CP armies, and to save the crumbling remains of his fantasy world?

Thank you so much for this interview.

Could I say one more thing?

Yes, of course.

SOLP will never work, so nobody should be afraid. Nearly everyone, if not everyone, that Pain called to SOLP is actually enemies of his. He is backed into a corner so he is pretending those who hate him actually support him.
To be truthful, SOLP consists only of Pain and the lies in his head. Thank you.

Seems like you and Lord Pain have cut off ties, thanks for this.

Any ties that seemed to be there were all smoke and mirrors on my part.

After being banned multiple times on the chat,I was able to talk to Lord Pain privately on his frenzied chat. Here is what he said.


So bit of us are quite confused, especially me, on what is happening at the moment. Can you summarize your actions on what you are doing?

The Sons of Lord Pain is a group designed for 2 purposes
1. To correct all errors within CP Armies
2. To make CP Armies better using the combined power of everyone within the Sons of Lord Pain. We do not vote, I Make the final decision considering the facts and then we enforce our solution to any given problem in the CP Army Community

So how did this come about? At what point can you describe the inception of this new group?

I decided that its time I get involved in the politics of CP Armies so I made the chat and began.

It is clear that there was an immediate backlash to this and many are opposed to your ideas, how do you expect to push through this criticism?

I’m going to just have everyone bear with me, and try to make everyone work together. The Sons of Lord Pain is also here to bring CP Armies closer together. In the Sons of Lord Pain everyone from every army rather they are allies or enemies. It is to work together to better our community, by taking ACTION.

One final question, what is your message you would like to deliver to CPA?

Change is coming.

Amidst the chaos and havoc that took place in chat (multiple bans, including myself repeatedly), Lord Pain was able to deliver this very same sermon to those willing to listen.  However, there was much backlash from Lord Pain’s foes, which was rebounded by permanent bans by Lord Pain himself. Some even came from the high owner ranks. Cewan, a longtime veteran of CPA, had this to say,

Lord Pain, amidst this criticism, had this to say. (DISREGARD THE LAST STATEMENT)

Only time can tell what will happen to the Sons of Lord Pain. It is clear Lord Pain has undergone a tremendous change mentally, for better or worse. Although it is a bright (at the same time sinister) image he is expressing, Many are still skeptical of Lord Pain’s true motives. Is the Sons of Lord Pain no more than a cult designed for the veneration of Lord Pain and a plan for world domination, or are the Sons of Lord Pain a possible brighter future for the world of CPA? What do you think?

This is Spongebob007, signing off.

36 Responses

  1. lol wut


  2. Good lord.


  3. Elmikey reminds me of Lord Pain
    except he masks his dictatorship with “kindness”
    and he has no life


    • “Power hungry, Egotistical, Someone who lives in a delusional fantasy land. In his mind” Justinbronze basically described both of them.


  4. Gaygity Homo Gaaay Gaygity Homo


  5. This society retarded endof story


  6. Duh faq


  7. SOLP isn’t gonna get anywhere. Soon enough, everyone’s gonna get pissed off at Pain, and then it’s over.


  8. SOLP isn’t gonna go anywhere. Soon enough, everyone in SOLP is gonna get pissed off at Pain, and it’ll be over.


  9. Like

  10. Just like Sheepism, but worse.
    And Sheepism is bad on so many levels.
    So this is bad on many more levels than so many levels.

    The amount of sense that just made is mind-shattering.


  11. another failed attempt by lord pain


  12. fail truthfully RPF is now identified as an evil army thanks to Elm and Pains work


  13. i dont even know anymore


  14. Pain’s logic at it’s finest. What he doesn’t get is that multiple people have tried this before. ACP under Flen, the Black Alliance, RPF, the CP army Council the idea is stale. The big thing about this is that Pain is in charge, and he has became a laughing stock because of being banned from the BA, Botted from EPT, Scared out of GT, Removed from RPF and couped many times from many armies that it is not even funny any more. If I was to write a book on what NOT to do in armies, there would be a section for the most infamous leaders in history that sucked, and 3 chapters on Lord Pain.


  15. are you fucking kidding me right now


  16. seems like illuminati to me


  17. Oh say can you see, by Pain’s early light
    What so proudly we hailed at Pain’s lasted gleaming
    Pain’s broad speeches, and bright leading, through the perilous dictatorship!
    O ‘er Pain we kneeled to, were so gallantly honorable
    And Pain’s red glare, Pain’s anger bursting through the air!
    Gave proof through the night, that his dictatorship rule was still there.
    Oh say does that star-spangled, PAAAAIIIIINNNNNNN
    O’re the land of Lord Pains dicatorshiiiiiipppppppp!
    And the home, of the speeeeeeecccchhhheeeeeessss.


  18. Please tell my why RPF made pain as leader. And they still have to deal with their current leaders, including Miss illuminati.


  19. All haill the mighty Lord Pain.


  20. Its called Sheepligion. not Sheepism. 😀
    Fluffy you btw XD


  21. @bluesockwa1


  22. I don’t even know what to say anymore… D;


  23. >inb4 Pain gets couped in his own cult


  24. Lord Hear Are Prays


  25. What this another satire post….?


What do YOU think? Comment your opinion!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: