“I Hate Club Penguin”- the Irony of Armies

THE PHILOSOPHY CORNER- It’s one of the ironies of our community that we’re Club Penguin armies, but no one likes Club Penguin.

I’d like to begin this post with a short personal note. I do realize that I haven’t posted in more than three weeks, mostly because I’ve been stuck on finding a good philosophy topic. I do apologize for this; although as Vice President I don’t have posting duties, and I’ve taken a lot of behind-the-scenes roles over the past few weeks, it is hardly a model for the rest of the CPAC staff. Once again, I do apologize for this, so let’s move on. On a separate note, this post is structured differently than my other posts, which usually contain long historical lectures; if you’re a fan of those types, I do apologize, but as a writer I should be trying out new things, shouldn’t I? 😉

*   *   *


“Get on”, types an army leader on Xat as he sees the chat become full. “We’re going to have some unscheduled recruiting on

we want to keep staying on this pls


Immediately, he is greeted with horrified cries from the rest of the troops. “Why would we go on CP now? We’re having fun hanging out,” they whine. “Hardly a time to go on for some boring and useless unscheduled event!”

The army leader feels a spark of fury. “Get on,” he snaps, “No complaints. How are we Club Penguin armies if we don’t even go on CP? We’re just Xat armies then.”

That, however, is a problem that has been a part of this community for years. At least half the community continues to participate in Club Penguin armies but actively dislikes the game itself and will never log on unless ordered to by a leader.Try it right now- go on an army Xat, and ask ‘Do you like Club Penguin?’ It’s almost guaranteed that you’ll be answered with an outraged cry, like ‘HELL NO!’ ‘I HATE CLUB PENGUIN!’ Almost all o the time, the only people who will freely admit to liking Club Penguin are people that we would classify as ‘noobs’.

After all, it’s unfashionable to like Club Penguin, right? And it’s not hard to see why. Wikipedia states that Club Penguin is designed for children up to the age of 14, but face it, the target age group is more like up to about 11, 12 at most. The majority of the people in armies, however, DO NOT fit into these age groups! Most are around 13-14, with some at 15-16 and a few above the age of 17. These are hardly the ideal ages to be playing Club Penguin.

We don’t really like this that much.

Why such an aged community though? For one, a lot of the people joined CP armies when Club Penguin was actually still fun for them. But it takes time to climb up the ranks, to become an influential member in CP armies, and often by the time that person has achieved any decent status, CP has become a bore. It’s too boring, too childish; Minecraft is a much better way to spend your time, isn’t it? Not some childish role-playing Disney game.

There’s a reason, however, that people continue to play, despite their ages. For one, this community is sometimes amazingly adultlike. This is a topic that deserves a post all to itself. It’s not a game of snowball warfare; instead, the focus of this community is often on the politics and diplomacy, the spying, coups and rebellions that are exciting and actually inspiring and captivating to the teenage mind. But what drives all the politics? Club Penguin events.

Then there’s a simpler reason. A year ago, the first Head of SMAC, Grant42, wrote an excellent post titled ‘Why Do We Do This?’ The post can be summed up with this passage, taken from the post:

Why do you want more viewers on your army’s site? To communicate with more people. Why do you go on Xat? To communicate with others. Why do you go on CP and/or fight other armies? To communicate! Why do you comment on and write posts? To communicate!

Basically, the main argument of this post is that as human beings, we crave for communication, which is why we’re here. The evidence for this can be seen with the amount of people logging in to Xat daily, for the purpose of talking to friends. Although your army friends may sometimes be an irritation, and a pain in the butt, you have to face it: you’ve met a lot of people who are fantastic, some of whom are very intelligent, creative and nice. You don’t want to part with these people? Well, gotta keep playing Club Penguin.

There’s also a number of other reasons too that I won’t discuss in detail, such as people who enjoy the leadership and power that comes with armies, people who receive a certain amount of power and are so power-hungry they can’t let go of it and so have to keep staying in this community, and people who become a part of the increasingly sophisticated army media and enjoys it and wants to continue having a part in it (eg. me). But the basic line remains: they are here to enjoy something that is NOT Club Penguin. Club Penguin is not the reason why we’re here. It’s something that we’ve grown to love to hate, but keep logging on for every day, for a lack of a better alternative. AFter all, CP is what keeps us together. Abandon it, and what is the purpose of this community? You may enjoy politics or leadership, but if your entire army quits CP, there won’t be any politics to play, no more armies to lead.

Operation Restoration picture

Of course, there are people who would argue otherwise. There’s always these ‘restoration’ projects coming up; projects that want armies to establish some sort of everlasting presence on a server. The latest of these attempts is Operation Restoration, spearheaded by the RPF. These projects would often harken back to something like the Color Wars as a model, yearning for a time where people continually battled 24/7 and were always logged in to CP, not Xat (mostly because they didn’t know about Xat. These days, the opposite holds true: we’re always logged in to Xat but never CP). RPF leader Elmikey writes:

A long time ago CP armies would play on one server all the time and it was a 24/7 war and it was a ton of fun.

After the leaders retired the new people in control messed up. They ruined Club Penguin armies. As a result today the largest CP armies don’t even have over 70 active members. Back then it was over 1,000 active members per major army. It was like that because we all were on one server all the time and it was the most fun ever, so people joined and stayed.

There’s a flaw in that reasoning, though. Back then people may have genuinely enjoyed Club Penguin. These days, half the community don’t. In my personal opinion, these projects are doomed to fail. Barely anyone wants to be playing CP continually; they want to be logged in to Xat. There’s a difference between the people in the Color Wars and the people in today’s community. The Color Wars people and the people in the early army days enjoyed CP. We don’t. We enjoy the other things that I’ve already listed, but not CP. (But what do I know). But we can’t stop playing, because there’s no alternative. We can either enjoy this community and have to keep going on CP, or quit going on CP and quit this community together.

And let’s be honest here- some people find it embarrassing to keep playing CP. They know they don’t like it, but they really are having a good time in this community, and so they have no choice. But they also can’t tell any of their real life friends they’re in this community, which is otherwise amazingly complex and political and ‘cool’, but the ‘coolness’ is covered up with childish penguin graphics, which puts anyone off and immediately makes you look like an idiot if you try to explain CP armies to someone who doesn’t understand it yet while letting them look at CPAC’s graphics. “We are very political and often we have to coup leaders. We also have spy agencies and news sites-“…but then you’re cut short. “HAHAHAHAHA ARE YOU AN IDIOT YOU’RE ALREADY 15 QUIT GOING ON CP”.

And so there lies our problem. We have an incredibly talented community, enjoying different things, having really great friends we want to keep talking to, but are bonded by the one thing we don’t enjoy: Club Penguin. This post was not written to give an answer, but simply to highlight this age-old problem. The one who solves it will probably become a legend; but, for now, we are stuck with E+9 bombing the enemy penguins.

Thanks for reading- I’ll see you again soon.


CPAC Vice President

59 Responses

  1. *waits to be yelled at endlessly by Elmikey’s admirers*

    *hopes that im not the odd one who actually doesn’t like Club Penguin*


  2. Xat is for private communication, not horseplay and follishness, yet you should still be logged into CP and not telling dumb stories. Minecraft beats CP by a mile, but the only thing I fear on MC is Herobrine…


  3. We’ve tried dozens of similar restoration projects, and not one had succeeded in the long-term, so I don’t get what makes RPF think theirs will be different.

    However, that aside, you’ve perfectly summed up the amazig thing that is armies; a fragile community, built on secrecy and lies, one that, from a certain view, is incredibly impressive, but which is forever dwarfed by the necessity to hide the childish platform it is played upon.


  4. Yeah, I totally agree with this post. The second I saw the title I knew this would be a deep topic. I have to admit, I honestly am sick of CP by now. I only started CP armies, after I became bored of CP.
    Great post Splashy 😛


  5. when AR raided ACP it was fun because we weren’t in lines we were running around doing tactics I think that’s a better way of attacking


  6. Splasher, sir, while it was a good post to read, I am a bit inclined to disagree with some of the reasoning you presented in this post.

    Firstly, as for why CP Warfare was much more Club Penguin-based in the 2006-2008 period; I don’t believe it was merely a case of XAT not being known yet. I think, as you did point out, it was genuinely more enjoyable to a good majority of leaders and soldiers at this time.

    Eventually, as time went on, the crowd of CP Warfare people who preferred more social enjoyment increased; the widespread usage of XAT here by 2009 initially made CP Warfare even stronger and benefited the actual armies themselves, but this new tool ultimately helped the community become more and more social based, and as you said, revolving around friends. While this isn’t inherently bad, by 2011, CP “Warfare” had mostly become about XAT. I don’t think there really was great army leadership in this period.

    I don’t really believe CP Warfare is still at that point, though. Since Fall 2011, CP Warfare has actually increasingly become more CP-based again with XAT once again serving as its complement, and I do feel that these “restoration projects” can, in fact, prove at least somewhat successful if planned well enough; especially to make it appealing even to those more socially-driven people in the community.

    But this post was still pretty well-thought, in my opinion. 🙂


  7. dislike squad bang bang


  8. I personally find some amusement from Club Penguin still, not from dealing with the users but from the games. I have to enjoy club penguin in some way or my posts on it would be very short and very negative. The things that bore people are the users (Twilight fans), the games that we play but get nothing from, and what little there can be to do. Stamps were introduced for the same reason as achievements in Xbox games, replay value. Tired of playing Pizzatron? Well if you get perfect, you can have this stamp that says you have no life!


    • I enjoy it too, because of the parties and the new costumes… and I have 100,000 coins (no kidding, I play a lot of dance contest on expert mode and got 70%-100% scores on em’s every time, once you get used to expert mode… it feels so easy) and at every chance I get to spend time with alb, but those are just a few reasons why I go. think about it, we fight on CP for one reason: we have no other games to go on for our armies, and if its true if we used xat for fighting, we would be causing so much lag that the servers would crash due to so many troops from one full chat going to another completely full chat, chat pools will also be a fail because in order to be a proper army, we must all stay together in the one room. we do not use minecraft because everyone has to buy the game and/or their computers can’t handle the game and alot of people don’t seem to have the money nor any computer that can handle minecraft, respectively. I think I have solved this problem, if we found any other game to go on, that would be great but for now, we have to stick to ClubPenguin.



  9. From what I can see, the majority of RPF likes CP and a fair majority of the Ice Warriors. Nacho members would also fit into this category. However, the rest of CP armies have little or no people who like CP, but compared to say 2007 it is the opposite.


  10. You Sir, are God.
    (That’s saying a lot considering I’m an Atheist, oh shit here comes the rage comments!!!)

    P.S. “Minecraft is a much better way to spend your time” LMFAO.


  11. lets all move to atWar


  12. There are a whole world of kids out in Club Penguin that would love to be in armies. I am going to recruit them all and base them in Arctic. It will end up looking like Mammoth did in 2007, as it’s already started. The kids that you see on CP love Club Penguin and they’ll play it the same way we did back in 2007. Over time Arctic will be known as the war server due to constant battles spawning out of nowhere all the time. You must dispose your armies of the rotten apples that have developed over time. You must go on Club Penguin and recruit members into this community that actually enjoy playing Club Penguin. If you’ don’t do that you aren’t a Club Penguin army, just a xat army because your army isn’t even seen on CP. Even I despise CP as most veterans do but there are a shit ton of kids on Club Penguin that absolutely love these “armies”. The leaders of 2008-2013 have failed and it’s time to fix this.

    Kids will go to Arctic and see RPF or whatever your army is and they’ll join whatever one they seem to like the most and they’ll go on Arctic and hunt the enemy and battle them with snowballs/chanting. All the other penguins will join in, some will chant EPF and those will be enemies aswell (makes it more fun). We can still have our nations/invasions/defenses posted on our sites with our army news that adds more fun to armies. People will see the time and be like “oh we have to defend “tuxedo” at 3pst to defend and they’ll go to the scheduled destination at the scheduled time and those other 23 hours you aren’t doing anything they’ll be having super fun massive battles between armies on Arctic. All armies need to be recruiting and sending the troops to Arctic.


  13. I agree with Elmikey for once, I remember the days of the Color Wars, the endless fun and amount of people was amazing. I think I am one of the few remaining Veterans from the color wars. By god, those days where amazing.


  14. Elm is right for once! I never got to see the moment of old CP Warfare because I joined CP in 2010 and CP Armies in 2011.I really want to check out the old days for once lets try to get that back and maybe CP Warfare will get more popular. No e-9 or J bombing anymore I want old CP Warfare back I saw videos of it it looked so much fun! But now that RPF is trying to make that happen during the Nacho-RPF War we should try to get that threw the full CP Warfare community!


  15. still waiting to launch my cp army but I am planning on mixing the new way with the old way. Basically we will do a few tactics but we wont be in a line we will be bunched together then we throw snowballs


    • That’s what I’m doing I’d like to make it fun for the cp players, since they’re the majority.


  16. I totally agree with this post- this is an older community with teenagers over kids, and the community would be a lot less embarrassing for everybody if it moved to another game like COD or Minecraft and left CP Armies to the kids. Let’s face it, most of us find going on CP a chore now and my sole boredom of a kid’s game I should’ve left when I was 10 was the reason I retired. Besides, wouldn’t seiging and bombing castles in Minecraft or tactically pushing your way to dominance with air support, guns, dog units etc in COD be more war-like? I hope you heed my words and consider them carefully, because I would love to return if we moved to more mature, suitable games for the army community that has much more teens than kids nowadays.


  17. Lovely post Splasher. 🙂


  18. restoration? isnt that one of the 6 magic schools on skyrim


  19. I hide me going on cp from my friends


  20. If this was on fourth of july, this is what I’D be saluting to. Good job on this post. It was great Splasher


  21. If people hate Club Penguin, they should just quit CP armies and all things related and do something they think is fun. If they are a leader, they need a successor. Democracies can elect one, either directly or indirectly. Monarchies can appoint a successor or leave the decision up to nobles, or have a contest to decide who.


  22. WHHAAATTT? I LOVE CP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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