Of All The Things I Have Lost, I Miss My Mind The Most

This post does not represent the views of CPAC or any other army/entity. Expect a tremendous amount of sarcasm. If you take this post too seriously, you may experience nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, and butthurt, likely all at the same time. Nonetheless, it does have a point to make. Click as many links as possible and try not to spontaneously combust before reaching the end.

The recent war between The Alliance of ACP, IW, AR, and Nachos and the Black Alliance of LT and Pirates has been one of great controversy, great anger, and great hyperbole. The sub-conflict between the Nachos and the Black Alliance has been no different.

After the Nachos’ victory over SWAT on Blizzard this past Sunday, tensions were already very high. When the Nachos successfully invaded Mammoth the following day, SWAT released a post displaying their outrage toward the Nachos’ cheap trick of hiding the invasion information in a post about ponies (I mean what (in)sane person would bother to read that thing cough Shiv cough).

I couldn’t even stand to look at the beginning of the post let alone to scroll all the way down to read this

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SWAT continued to let the butthurt flow with another post titled “Destruction of the Nacho Empire: Act 1”, which was chock full o’ poorly made memes and various other anti-Nachos propaganda, sampled below:

Y U NO UNDERSTAND MEMES?!

Oh god, make it stop

My Response:

PUT IT OUT PUT IT OUT PUT IT OUT

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You would think this would be the end of the ridiculosity, BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!

Fresh off receiving his degree in Dignity Reduction from The University of Butthurt, Cul, who is SWAT Leader by some miraculous feat (and still buttmad about the Nachos’ invasion buried hoof-deep in pony), created his own secret invasion to get back at the Nachos.

…And by secret, I mean he was the only one who knew about it…

…And by invasion, I mean him dancing all alone on 6 different servers…

Think “Where the Hell is Matt?” minus the internet fame with an extra dose of forever alone.

Cul claimed that by editing times into a post which was never posted, he had created a valid invasion, and was therefore able to go from server to server taking self-shots of himself saying SWAT now owned the server. These pictures are posted below for your viewing (dis)pleasure:

COLLEG AT MY IGGY

That shady character at the top begs to differ

One Man Army aka Cul getting his butt whooped by a tenacious army of little girls in cheerleader outfits

YOU INVADED FJORD AND DIDN’T EVEN TAKE YOUR PICTURE ON SHADOW’S ROCK??

Clearly exhausted from hours of fighting, Cul sits down for a rest

…And last but not least…

So this is what armies have come to, eh? I for one couldn’t be happier that we spend more time insulting each other and avoiding actually fighting than we do actually battling. I know the Club Penguin Army Gods are looking fondly upon us for taking their recipe for fun and success and accidentally spilling hydrochloric acid into it. You might want some Pepto Bismol, as it relieves all of the aforementioned side-effects of stupidity, other than butthurt of course!

But where do we go from here? We’re running so short on insults to make I’m actually worried we might resort to flinging poo pretty soon. So the way I see it, we can either continue acting like untrained monkeys (not even the trained space monkeys), or we can try to actually make this thing fun.

On second thought, better get my poo cannon…

An artist’s depiction of me shooting a poo cannon at a man on fire

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

~Boomer