The Friday Night Massacre

The buck stops here.

With the retirement of Sklooperis a few years ago, or some time around that marked the denouncement of the notion that working for CPAC is a privilege. That you have to work here, actually work here. That you cannot waltz on in here and expect that you will be loved, respected, and able to stay here.

CPAC fell under the two past Heads (no blame given), and it was likely, some believed, that CPAC would fall and, perhaps even die, when I took over with Blue2 in August of 2012. Well, here we are, gentlemen. More views than ever- the site has undergone a complete reform in administrative procedures, design, and pages, just to name a few.

Because of, but not limited to all of those changes, it is foolish to neglect the staff.

Honestly, there is so much I’d love to say to so many of you. Much harsher words than I will be putting in this post- there is a Dashboard Chat for that. This is the first time in the history of CPA Central that over 65% of our current staff have been either fired, demoted, or somehow experienced a position shift.

Heads will roll and have rolled tonight. See below for the lists.

Fired: Ajman, Alpha/Mrgpv, Chrisi Blule, Deathshady, Firestar, Hunger, Max, Surf, Yeasy, Step Up, Slider, Joee

Not Fired: 122344a, Disco70s, Gordy, Jack, Drust, Riot, Tap Dancer, Tomato8883

If you are not on this list, it means that you are part of the administrative staff of CPAC, and your position has either been shifted, or you are safe. Before we get into administrative change, I would like to acknowledge the service of Joker, who has chosen to retire. I have worked closely with him over the past few months, and he is a spectacular writer and has helped bring CPAC back into a better time.

In addition, Riot will be promoted to Associate Producer of CPA Central, and Zak will be demoted to Associate Producer from his former rank of Vice President.

Of course, now, as you must assume, we need staff. So CPAC will be accepting applications below for anyone who wishes to become a reporter/philosopher here at CPAC. In addition, we will also be accepting applications for an experienced member of this community to fill the role of Vice President here. Application forms are below. Keep in mind that if you apply for Vice President, you are also eligible to be hired as a reporter of philosopher. In addition, if any of the staff who were fired are truly serious about working here, they can comment with a form to be re-hired.

Reporter/Philosopher Applications


Army Experience: 

Post Example: 

Why Do You Want To Work Here:


Vice President Applications


What Administrative Ranks Have You Held Previously (i.e., Leader/2ic/3ic of a Top Ten Army, or Head/Secondary Head of a successful news site. 

Example Post: 

Why Do You Want To Work Here:

So, I hope the staff of CPAC have learned a lesson- if they ever cared. We aren’t going to tolerate incompetent and lazy staff here. Not myself, not Blue2, nor Funks, nor many others got to where we are or have been on this site by sitting around, drinking a mojito. If you have any questions, complaints, of foolish tyraids, feel free to let me know of chat- I’m not promising I’ll answer, but whatever.

Good day. 


CPA Central CEO


25 Responses

  1. Reporter/Philosopher Applications:
    1.) Flames370
    2.) Click WordPress icon.
    3.) I’ll tell you on chat because I have no time here.
    4.) It will be a fun experience.


  2. who the hell were those people you fired


  3. Reporter Application:
    Experience: ACP Captain, AR Colonel, Water Ninjas 3ic, XGW 3ic, Red Defenders 1ic, FFACP 2G Creator, Watex Warriors Major, Waddling Warriors 2G Creator and many more armies. Also I joined Clubpenguin Armies in 2007. Also I’m a SMAC Reporter, SANCP Secondary Head, CPPC Secondary Head, and aCPAN Head of Site.
    Post Example:
    I want to give others more army news and that’s why I am applying.


  4. Haha thanks Blue, wish I could have done more though, I didn’t get to do much D:. But ya’ know school and all.


  5. half the people you hired i dont even know about


  6. This is evil.


  7. Name: 1goblinguy
    Army Experience: FGR UMA Nachos. Well, you know the story.
    Post Example: Ok. Kinda sudden but ok.
    The green army is at war with the brown army. It’s funny because the green army used to be big and the brown army used to be a joke. Kinda puts things in perspective, no? I mean, not too long ago the red army demolished the brown army. Brown look like poop. But now the red army rarely has a decent event. And all there recent posts have been nothing but coups. Large armies are rapidly falling. Some medium armies are rapidly rising. Well known armies are nowhere to be found. Formerly unstable armies are now taking there place. How does something like this happen? Frankly, i have no idea. This is truly mind boggling. Please, stay seated in your comfy couch as i tell my my prediction. I think the bigger armies are going to die. There. Blunt and simple. I think medium armies will take there place. But that ain’t even my main point yet! Because if armies die, medium armies become large, then… that means…. WE WILL HAVE A SHORTAGE OF MEDUIM ARMIES. So, who will fill them holes up? You guessed it. The small armies. Witch is what i think will be the most intresting thing. A huge power strugle between small armies. An attempt to grow to medium status will now be more plausible then ever. And this huge surge of small army war is coming. Who is in a position to stablize in a medium spot? I honestly don’t think anyone is. So what will happen? I HAVE NO CLUE! that is for you to decide.

    Why Do You Want To Work Here: CPAC is awesome. And i love to write.


  8. Name: PabloDePablo
    Army Experience: Nacho Captain
    Post Example: n/a (no sumbitted worked published, will provide example of my work if you want)
    Why Do You Want To Work Here: I want to contribute to the CP army community a bit more as a whole.


  9. 1.Leon23123
    2.SWAT LIT,UCCP Main Creator,PCP 4ic,IW 4ic,DCP 4ic
    4.It will be a very fun experience and an honor to qork in CPAC


  10. I would like to be in the CPAC.
    I have a Army
    1.My army is called USSPA
    2.USSPA 1ic,Nacho Stf. Sgt
    3. i need troops for my army
    4. I want to be Vice President


  11. cant work for you guys to busy


  12. ofc nobody cares about the guys who got fired and they just make crappy applications


  13. A REMINDER: If you cannot be bothered to provide a piece of writing, you will not be hired.


  14. For Vice President OR Reporter.

    Name: Braveboy124
    What Administrative Ranks Have You Held Previously (i.e., Leader/2ic/3ic of a Top Ten Army, or Head/Secondary Head of a successful news site: Pretzels Leader/Creator | CPSAN Owner/Creator (Once a huge Small Army News Site back in 2010)
    Example Post: (Used to work for CPA Central)
    Why Do You Want To Work Here: Well, I would like to be back in an Army News Site. My Posts are Above Par and you will not be dissapointed.


  15. Name: Totidile
    Army Experience: Been in lost of armies Former 2ic Ninjas PCP 3ic CPPA Mod rank Night Divers creator and loads others that im not active in 🙂
    Post Example: Look on Or find me on xat!

    Why Do You Want To Work Here: Im epic i know pretty much all army legends And i need a job (wary)

    P.S I love you Blue :3 Slendile is watching you!


  16. Reporter/Philosopher Applications

    Name: Originally I went by Alpha, but Delcrux will suffice–what with so many ‘Alpha’ usurpers running about.

    Army Experience: Ah, Club Penguin… Five years ago the game had a very different feel about it, though there were certainly some precursors to modern army conflict. Every day after school I was lucky enough to have participated in the colorful clan wars of old, and then on through the feverish battles under the banner of Watex and his eventual offshoot, the Watex Warriors. The army is dead now, but I believe that so long as there are those who remember them, the legacy lives on. I digress.

    I’ve been party to many armies through the years, leader of none, though I have made a point of seeing every one through to the often bitter end. I’ve been the last man off the ship many times… maybe it’s me? I hope not, but I’ll always remember armies like the MCP, HSA, and RFW, though my affinity was always for the WW.

    Post Example: (Note that I have never been a member of the mentioned army, I just wanted to riff on all the potential puns associated with their name. Go ST!)

    “Sky Troops Flying High”

    In a community so colorfully diverse as Club Penguin, few armies stand testament to tenacity and determination as those who proudly wear the blue and gold of the Sky Troops. Once an underdog army by every stretch of the imagination, the ST alit on the scene in late 2010, after a risky name change gamble, dropping the more robust moniker “Club Penguin Elite Defenders” to circumnavigate restrictions imposed by Club Penguin chat filters.

    The fledgling army held its breath, waiting for results. Would it work? Could such a new army band together under such a drastic name change? A hit-counter tells the story, impassionately logging every visitor to the site since 2011 — it currently sits at over 57,000 and is climbing steadily. The Sky Troops took flight.

    Taking their lumps and giving better than recieved, the ST has managed to stay aloft, gaining a reputation among small and medium armies as a competent force for good in the army world. Every time seemingly impossible odds rose to meet them, the ST overcame, proving their mettle as soldiers and showing their can-do attitude. Through leadership crisis and lack of motivation, a solid core of individuals stayed together and triumphed where so many small armies have failed. Competently led though understaffed, the ST soars ever higher, even peaking as an occasional Top-ten contender.

    For the ST, there’s no turning back. As they leave the first round of the SMAC ‘Spooky SMAC-down’ tournament as an underdog victor, they’ve nowhere to go but up. We here at CPAC wish all competing armies the best as they duke it out for the SMAC-down gold. Keep on flying, Sky Troops!

    Why Do You Want To Work Here: To put it simply, I love the CP army community and want to give something back. Now that I’ve grown somewhat from my early years as a dead-ender n00b private, I’ve aquired journalism and communication skills that I believe can be put to use writing clear, unbiased posts for your blog, real news as it were, while still keeping it light. Club penguin is all about zany fun — why should the news be a chore to read?

    Anyway, I wanted to apply for VP, but I realize that my abilities might be better used elsewhere as a reporter. My last stint with CPAC ended poorly, and I’ve never managed a site. You can be sure of my dedication, and I’ll even throw in my limited skills as a graphic designer, but only if you call the number on your screen within the next eight minutes. Just pay seperate shipping and handling.


    • Also, did you ever think of writing an employee handbook? Could be useful to have some sort of training process.


      • And at the risk of sounding overenthusiastic, if you hire me as VP, I’ve some great ideas for really boosting this site’s interactivity and usefulness, If you don’t make me VP… Well, I’ll tell you anyway, but your’re far more likely to write me off as a raving lunatic. Skype or XAT me sometime, I’ve got a list!


  17. Name: Superoo13
    Army Experience: ACP Master General and 2ic of Romans when they got in the Top 10
    Post Example:
    Why Do You Want To Work Here: I was here before, I messed up my chance, so now I am here to become a Philosopher!


  18. Reporter/Philosopher Application:
    Name: Error
    Army Experience: DW 3ic, Golds 3ic, RPF 3ic, and loads of more.
    Post Example:
    Why Do You Want To Work Here: I want to start my Reporter/Philosopher experience somewhere.

    Vice President Applications
    What Administrative Ranks Have You Held Previously (i.e., Leader/2ic/3ic of a Top Ten Army, or Head/Secondary Head of a successful news site. DW 3ic (3rd in Top 10) Golds 3ic (10th in top 10)
    Example Post:
    Why Do You Want To Work Here: Same as above, I want to start my Reporter/Philosopher experience somewhere.


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